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Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence

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This article was originally published in the newspaper “La Estrella” and is part of a biweekly column from the ICF Panama Chapter to disseminate what professional coaching is. It seeks to inform, create more awareness and differentiate professional coaching, in which the coach is governed by ethical principles and is continually improving his or her skills.

See the original article in this Link.

Self-awareness is the basis of learning, development, and change. It is a foundation of emotional intelligence, and what allows us to build better relationships, achieve better results, with a higher level of well-being.

in his book Insight, Tasha Eurich tells us that 95% of people believe they are self-aware, but that in reality this number is much lower, on the order of 12% to 15%. The author understands self-awareness as “the willingness or ability to understand who we are, including aspects such as our values and patterns (internal self-awareness), and how others perceive us (external self-awareness).”

The process of developing self-awareness involves spaces for reflection, openness to introspection, but also a willingness to observe and listen to the perceptions of others, to request feedback.

In the coaching processes we verify that when we begin to explore with our clients their values, talents, passions, strengths, patterns, triggers, among others, they identify that it is not so simple and is even more challenging than what they would initially consider. That it is not as obvious as we might think to identify what moves us, makes us unique and differentiates us, nor to identify our behavioural patterns.

It is necessary to dedicate time and reflection to becoming aware of what distinguishes us, of our reaction patterns, of the beliefs and assumptions that live behind our actions. We all have blind spots, at the level of knowledge, emotions and reactions of which we are not aware, and which are difficult for us to access without feedback from others.

The coaching process provides the reflective and creative space, which we often do not have on a daily basis, of moments dedicated to connecting with who we are, what we want, why we want it and to explore action options that enhance better results and well-being.

When we connect with our purpose, with our values, with the essence of who we are and what we value, we access a source of energy and motivation that focuses our actions and supports us to develop the flexibility and resilience necessary to achieve our goals and well-being.

In the process of awareness we access and can leverage our internal resources, and from there also identify the external resources that we need.

The authors Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves, in their book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, They explore some strategies to develop personal self-awareness, including learning to identify emotions cognitively and physically, not to classify them as good or bad, not to ignore them, even when they make them uncomfortable, and to recognise them and let them go.

Other strategies identified are the periodic practice of journaling and obtaining feedback as a way of observing ourselves from a distance, identifying behavioural patterns and triggers in stressful situations.

The practice of periodic reflection or meditation are strategies to connect with our essence, with our values, and to do a regular mental and physical check-up, to maintain our mental health and prevent burnout situations.

In our interactions with others we can also develop our social self-awareness, through the practice of mindfulness, presence, active listening, and empathy.

From curiosity we can observe the other, or others from their world, ask and try to understand others from their life experience, beliefs, assumptions or culture.

A professional coach recognizes that self-awareness is the basis for his client to achieve his goals, and works with him from that basis in defining specific strategies for each case.

Self-awareness is also important in working with teams and in organisational development, in identifying interaction dynamics and behavioural patterns.

Personal and social self-awareness is a learning process, a search for personal mastery.

My favourite strategies are emotional checking and journaling, putting my reflections on paper or recording them, so I can return to them and observe them from a distance.

Dear reader, how do you make sure you develop your self-awareness? What are your favourite strategies?

Author: Fátima Ribeiro

The author is PCC (ICF Professional Certified Coach), Coach in professional development, leadership and teams processes, and member of ICF Panama.

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Do we need to change for 2022?

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This article was originally published in the newspaper “La Estrella” and is part of a biweekly column from the ICF Panama Chapter to disseminate what Professional Coaching is. It seeks to inform, create more awareness and differentiate professional coaching, in which the Coach is governed by ethical principles and is continually improving his or her skills.

See the original article in this link.

 

We live in a context in which change is no longer an event but a constant; in which stopping, thinking and consciously dedicating time to learning is increasingly important (as well as difficult due to the pace of life) to face the challenges of the future.

 

We are approaching the end of the 2021 year and I invite you to pause, reflect and integrate the lessons learned and plan for 2022.

 

How are the changes affecting us as individuals, families, teams and organisations?

  • What do we see and credit? What thoughts inhabit us? What beliefs are we focusing on?
  • How do we work and relate? What alliances, relationships and connections are we building?
  • Who are we being at different times, with different people and in different contexts?

 

Bringing awareness to how we feel, think, and are impacting our people of interest is important in a process of learning and change.

 

Complementarily validate our perception, with the perception of others, in periodic feedback and feedforward actions (suggestions for improvement) from our people of interest.

 

Having identified our values, talents, aspirations, patterns, environments in which we flourish, reactions and the impact on others, brings us a higher level of self-knowledge and self-awareness and allows us to clarify our strengths and weaknesses, perceive what differentiates us, what internal barriers we perceive, what resources we need and what we want to learn to enhance our value proposition considering the opportunities and threats of the context.

 

Identifying our triggers and perceiving where the stimuli that impact us come from helps us choose the behaviours that best serve our objectives, and not use emotional volatility as a tool for self-management and in the management of others.

 

Where are we on the curve of change? In denial, in resistance, in acceptance, in developing capabilities, or committed, investing time and resources in the process?

 

And what happens in our teams and organisations? How are they reacting to daily challenges, uncertainty and change? What are we looking at and co-creating? What value are we creating?

 

Environments of trust, psychological safety, high standards and responsibility, in which error is part of the learning process, are conducive to learning, taking risks and consequently more prepared for change as a constant. Conversely, environments of high control, micromanagement and low psychological security are related to anxiety and stress in change situations.

 

Having identified what communications we are having the majority of our time is also crucial in the context of change. Are we in the inform, say and ask? In persuading and negotiating? In co-creating and transforming? What mix of the three do we currently have and which one would we like or need to have?

 

The purpose of an organisation is changing, from creating value for shareholders to creating value for all stakeholders. What value are we creating for our internal and external stakeholders? What would our collaborators, teams, clients, suppliers and other stakeholders tell us about the path we are traveling and that we have to travel? What can we not stop paying attention to today, tomorrow and the future, in this context of change as a constant?

 

Increasingly, the management of polarities is a constant. Some examples of polarities we may be navigating are: results and well-being; today, tomorrow and the future; management and innovation; be strategic and operational; individuality and diversity. The current challenge is to manage both polarities simultaneously. It is shared leadership. It is developing a systemic vision, reinforcing relationships, connections and alliances.

 

An individual, executive, group or team coaching process supports, among others, creating new possibilities from the purpose and vision of the future, identifying patterns, adopting a perspective of curiosity, promoting creativity, trust, experimentation and responsibility. A professional coach, according to their specialty, has tools to support you on this path.

 

Author: Fátima Ribeiro

The author is a Coach in Professional Development, Leadership and Teams processes, ACC (ICF Associated Certified Coach), and member of the Board of Directors of ICF Panama.

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Ineffective leadership behaviours

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This article was originally published in the newspaper “La Estrella” and is part of a biweekly column from the ICF Panama Chapter to disseminate what Professional Coaching is. It seeks to inform, create more awareness and differentiate professional coaching, in which the Coach is governed by ethical principles and is continually improving his or her skills.

See the original article in this link.

 

In the leadership development process, through executive coaching, different approaches can be used, depending on the context of the leader and the organisation, the needs identified and the objectives set.

One of them is working from the outside, from what is visible and perceived, such as behaviours (doing) towards the inside (being and thinking), in an iterative cycle to promote sustainable changes over time.

This approach is particularly suitable for leaders who perceive that leadership behaviours associated with their success in the past may not be those necessary to achieve success in the future, in more complex, ambiguous and changing contexts.

This is a work that begins with the identification of the leader’s behaviours, how this is perceived by his or her people of interest or stakeholders, and the impact of their behaviours on their organisation and the broader system. The work continues to promote the interaction of the leader with his stakeholders for integration of their suggestions for improvement into a plan of action, which is evaluated and adapted in a regular cycle, simultaneously facilitating the change of behaviours and perceptions.

Most of us look at behavioural changes that others should make, and are available to provide suggestions for improvement, but in general we are not as perceptive of the behavioural changes that we should implement and have a difficult time doing so on a day-to-day basis.

The impact of our behaviours is significant on the people around us, on our organisation. This impact grows with the level of responsibility of the leaders and with the size of the stakeholders internal and external that we impact.

As a leader becomes successful, this behaviour change is even more difficult to make, because he associates it with past success, he does not understand that he needs new behaviours to be successful in the future.

Benefits can be identified from implementing changes, but we are not always willing to accept the costs, to let go of behaviour that no longer serves us, we can even think and verbalize, but “I am like this, I have always been like this and it has always worked for me…”. This indicates that we do not want to commit to the process, we may not have the humility or courage to do so.

One of the challenges for coaches is to perceive their clients’ willingness to work on their objectives and implement the changes they propose. The success of the process is the responsibility of the coachee with their reflections, learning and actions. The coach facilitates the process and provides the appropriate encouragement, reinforcement and support to achieve the objectives.

One of the authors who most developed and implemented this approach to behaviours is Marshall Goldsmith, internationally recognised as a thought leader in leadership, as an executive coach and as the author of various best-sellers.

In his book “What got you here won’t get you there” Marshall Goldsmith identifies 20 ineffective habits or behaviours in leadership. Among them we can mention:

earn too much, or the need to win in all situations, when it is important, when it is not, and even when it is totally irrelevant. This is the behaviour identified by Marshall Goldsmith as the number one challenge for most leaders.

Other related ineffective behaviours are: add too much value, that is, adding our grain of sand in each conversation or discussion even when it does not add value; he retain information, to gain advantage over others; and the play favourites, to gain allies.

It is also ineffective to devalue the opinions expressed by others by making destructive or sarcastic comments; express negativity, or “I’m going to tell you why this doesn’t work”; or a more unconscious way responder, to comments or suggestions, with “no, but, however…” withdrawing value from what the other is expressing.

They are still ineffective behaviours. speak with anger, using emotional volatility as a management tool and the not listening, not being consciously present for our people of interest, advocating lack of time, overwork, or listening with partial attention due to distractions such as the cell phone.

To develop more effective leadership behaviours, the client must recognise that they need to change and commit to the process. The coach, based on his knowledge and experience, and in alliance with the client, promotes, among others, self-awareness, self-management and management of relationships with people of interest.

 

Author: Fatima Ribeiro

The author is ACC (ICF Associated Certified Coach), Coach in professional development, leadership and teams processes, and member of the Board of Directors of ICF Panama.

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Emotional Intelligence as a Coaching Tool

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This article was originally published in the newspaper “La Estrella” and is part of a biweekly column from the ICF Panama Chapter to disseminate what Professional Coaching is. It seeks to inform, create more awareness and differentiate professional coaching, in which the Coach is governed by ethical principles and is continually improving his or her skills.

See the original article in this link.

 

In the coaching process, various concepts and tools are used to support the coachees, according to the approach of the process and the training and toolbox of the coaches.

The concept of emotional intelligence is one of the tools we can use.

Yuval Noah Harari, historian and philosopher, author of books such as “21 lessons for the 21st century,” considers emotional intelligence and mental balance as two essential skills for the rest of our lives.

Daniel Goleman, one of the pioneers of emotional intelligence, published an article in 1996 that is still considered essential reading in Harvard Business Review on leadership issues, called “What does a leader do?”

This article focuses the concept of an emotionally intelligent leader on five elements: self-awareness, self-discipline, motivation, empathy and social skill.

To the self-knowledge The main characteristics are associated with: self-confidence, a realistic self-evaluation and a self-critical sense of humor.

The main characteristics of the self-discipline They are reliability and integrity, being comfortable with ambiguity and openness to change.

Passion to meet objectives, optimism, even in situations of failure, and commitment to the organisation are the three main characteristics in motivation.

The ability to build and retain talent, sensitivity to different cultures and being focused on customer service are the characteristics of the empathy.

In the social skill The author refers to effectiveness in leadership of change, the power of persuasion and the ability to build and lead teams.

Looking at the characteristics described, these still constitute a valid model more than twenty years after its original expression. What changes is our mental map and the form or order of importance in different contexts.

The concept of emotional intelligence was developed more recently, with a very practical approach, by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves, who define two major competencies, personal and social. In the personal competence, it is important self-awareness -recognise one’s own emotions and tolerate discomfort- and self-management – tolerate uncertainty and pursue objectives, not needs. In the social competence, it is important social consciousness -recognise emotions in others, listen and observe- and relationship management -manage interactions successfully and strengthen connections.

Particularly, I consider the model, developed by Dr. Reuven Bar-On and Jonathan and Leight Bowman-Perks, to be quite useful as a tool in coaching, which considers factors of emotional intelligence, intrapersonal factors, connected to self-awareness and self-expression, factors interpersonal of social awareness and interaction, factors of stress management associated with emotional management and control, factors of adaptability and change management and factors general like self-motivation.

In coaching, these models can be worked on, for example, considering the areas or factors in which the coachee has opportunities for improvement, the areas in which they already function effectively, and the areas in which they have superior performance.

The concept of emotional intelligence significantly impacts behaviours and relationships and can thus be worked on using any of these theoretical frameworks. The most important thing in the coaching process is the use of methodologies appropriate to each client, the objectives of the process and the specific objectives of each session.

The coachee can use their own reflection and/or incorporate the perception of their stakeholders or people of interest, such as family, friends, co-workers, peers, bosses and members of their team, benefiting the coachee from a systemic perspective. Humility, courage and discipline with the process strongly impact the results.

The process in general is enriched when the coachee opens up to feedback from his or her stakeholders, in a positive circle of reflection, integration of learning, listening to suggestions for improvement, evaluation and action.

Fatima Ribeiro, ACC

The author is ACC (ICF Associated Certified Coach), Coach in professional development, leadership and teams processes and member of the Board of Directors of ICF Panama.

 

 

Poster for the Habits and Triggers conversation with Fátima Ribeiro and Danny Bertel

Habits and Triggers

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On September 17 in a Linkedin Live we talked about habits and triggers that impact our leadership.

On this topic I invite you to listen to the recording and read the article “Becoming aware of our triggers” reproduced on the blog.

 

On September 3 we also spoke with Priscilla Solano on the Anexión TV programme in Costa Rica, about “Behaviours that serve us.”

 

Invitation to Conversing with Priscilla, with the participation of Fátima Ribeiro

 

 

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Becoming aware of our triggers

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This article was originally published in the newspaper “La Estrella” and is part of a biweekly column from the ICF Panama Chapter to disseminate what Professional Coaching is. It seeks to inform, create more awareness and differentiate professional coaching, in which the Coach is governed by ethical principles and is continually improving his or her skills.

See the original article in this Link

Today’s world is increasingly uncertain, complex and hyperconnected and the stimuli we receive daily are also growing in volume and complexity.

Our daily life is full of stimuli that we receive from the people with whom we interact in person or virtually, from the events around us that attract or require our attention in a more passive or active way, from the quantity and diversity of information, from distracting elements that exist on social networks, on television and on the internet.

The impulses received generate behaviours, which are not always the ones that best suit us, since they do not serve either the results we seek or our well-being.

What then are the triggers?

Triggers are thus any stimulus that can affect our behaviour, regardless of the origin or form of the stimulus.

Triggers can be direct or indirect, external or internal, conscious or unconscious, anticipated or unexpected, encouraging or discouraging, productive or counterproductive.

Between impulse and behaviour we seek to develop self-awareness about how these stimuli impact us to make a more conscious choice of our behaviours, according to what best serves us in terms of our objectives and/or well-being.

As Victor E. Frankl tells us “when we are unable to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

In a coaching process, whether executive, professional or personal, the coach who works with these tools can support his client or coachee in the awareness process, to explicitly identify their main triggers and how these are impacting their behaviours.

Tasha Eurich in her research tells us that 95% of people consider themselves self-aware, but that the real number is 12% to 15%.

The coach helps raise awareness, facilitating the client’s understanding and learning through the use of different methodologies from their toolbox.

Marshall Goldsmith is one of the authors who works on the topic of triggers in his methodology for changing leaders’ behaviours and changing stakeholders’ perceptions of leaders’ behaviours. From its methodology, I highlight the classification of triggers into four quadrants, in which the axes are: “I want them and I don’t want them” and “I need them and I don’t need them.” The triggers that I want and need empower me, the ones I want and don’t need distract me, the ones I don’t want and need I have to look for, and the ones I don’t want or need I have to isolate.

Knowledge or self-awareness of our triggers is not enough to stop responding to them. We need support to make changes in our behaviours, even if I think they only affect me. Most of us need to have a structure, establish rules, implement a routine in a continuous process of change and adaptation of the behaviours that serve us most at all times. For example, to improve our physical fitness, it is not enough to know the stimuli that lead me in a different direction and to be aware of the need to do exercises. Strategies must be developed to establish a new routine, associate it with another activity, create a dedicated space in the weekly agenda, provide rewards in the process and recruit support from a friend or a coach.

Humility and courage support us in the process of self-awareness and commitment, discipline supports the implementation of actions, in achieving more constant changes in our behaviours.

In his process, the coach encourages his client to implement actions, evaluate the results of the actions, define and implement successful strategies, accompanying the client in his process of progress towards his objectives and his well-being. Coaching is thus a process of learning and growth, which facilitates the Client’s self-awareness and growth in the process of transforming knowledge and learning into actions, promoting the autonomy of the coachee in the process.

Fátima Ribeiro

The author is ACC (ICF Associated Certified Coach), Coach in professional development, leadership and teams processes and member of the Board of Directors of ICF Panama. The article was originally published in the ICF Panama Chapter column in the newspaper “La Estrella”.